I've been quoted in Forbes, Ozy, Bustle, Huffington Post and other media outlets around the world. I am the author of Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last. Relationships are the fabric of our lives. Ask me anything about the power of connections and how your story impacts your relationships.
To build strong, high-quality connections, it is important to understand your narrative as well as create the space for reflection that leads to self-awareness.
There are so many influences that impact our perspective on relationships. Media can also play a significant role in the way we form relationships. Social media can be a wonderful place for connecting but often, it has become a place that displays aggression and hostility. We don’t spend enough time connecting authentically. There is power in the story and when we connect with others, the conversations will help us see the resilience, optimism, and hope that is a part of all our journeys. Listening to the narrative we tell about ourselves and our relationships could be responsible for the way we are connecting or not connecting to others in a way that is mutually beneficial.
The way we often see ourselves is tied often to relationships. We are more than our titles and although this is a component of our self-identity, it isn’t the only thing that defines who we are. To have a better understanding of who we are, we must dig deeper to understand ourselves. When we remove the layers of work, family, and friends, we are challenged to really think about our stories and the journey. So often we are so busy doing, that we don’t spend time reflecting and using our experiences as a guide. When I am coaching others, I use activities to help individuals become reflective learners about their lives and see how their experiences informed the way they connect with others. It is critical to take time to reflect in order to learn from our past as well as examine our present to inform our future.
Some simple tips:
Listen to the story you tell about yourself in relation to others. Does your story demonstrate a journey of a victor or a victim? An ending of resolution or rejection? A person of substance or of sorrow?
Know your triggers. What are the things that inspire you? Cause anger? Create fear or need? Identifying these can help you understand what pushes your buttons and how they impact your relationships.
Identify your energy vampires. Who are the individuals who take away your energy and keep you from connecting to high-quality connections? Paying attention to this could help you save time and energy that could be placed into relationships that are rewarding and fulfilling.
The book has 29 Rules of Engagement and provides an exploration of your social, identity, and psychological capital. My desire is to help others connect and realize we have more in common than we are different. In a world with so much conflict rooted in misunderstandings and a lack of awareness, building high-quality connections are essential for change. It starts by knowing your story and being open to the stories of others.
Learn more about my book Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last
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