How do you deal with the loss of a loved one, particularly a spouse? -AMA

Marshalee Patterson
Aug 9, 2018

I am Marshalee Patterson. I write Christian Romance books and my soon to be released novel- A Shattered Life Restored deals with the issue of loss of loved ones.

I have added the first chapter of the book on my website to give my readers an insight on what to expect. I would love for you to check it out. I will do my best to answer your questions relating to the issue of losing someone as it's a real-life issue for me and not just fictional, so ask away. Also if you are interested in joining the launch team for the book after reading the first chapter, please subscribe to my website.

I write devotional posts on my website blog with reference to all my book's characters or storyline, I would love for you to check those out as well. You can ask me any questions that you might have pertaining to any particular post or in regards to my books. 

I will try my best to answer all questions, and invite you to also follow me on Facebook to stay up to date with what Iʼm up to.


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What are some of the things you see around you that you find disturbing? How do these things influence your writing?
Aug 10, 7:46PM EDT0
Do you think people get used to the grief or do they get strong enough to bear the loss of a loved one?
Aug 10, 4:54PM EDT0

Hello Lauren, thank you for your question. No one ever gets used to grief, which is why many take so long to heal at times.

Denial keeps people from moving forward, sometimes it's when we see our loved ones in the casket, going down in the grave that it hits us with the real truth, that our loved ones aren't coming back.

It is when we accept that they are gone that we find the strength to move on. Some do so faster than others depending on the depth of the relationship. 

For me, the first couple of years were hard, you go through this phase where you can't see your life different without them. Which is why finding love again or having people around you helps with the healing process.  Some people find the strength on their own to go on, while others need encouragement from others.

Aug 10, 5:39PM EDT0
What advice can you give to young readers looking to share their own stories in books or graphic novels?
Aug 10, 12:56AM EDT0

Hello Gamerhuy, thank you for your question. I would tell them to believe in themselves, have courage, and not let negative comment hold them back. No-one will ever have everyone embrace what they have to share, while we live on this present earth.

Aug 10, 4:53PM EDT0
Have you plans for another book? Will it be another Christian book or another real life-based novel?
Aug 8, 8:28PM EDT0

Hello Menah, thank you for your question. I already two other books, Christian-based waiting to be edited. These two book doesn't really have much of my experiences in them. I write as the Holy-Spirit guides me. Why don't you subscribe to my website to get alerts for those two books? You could even get to be apart of the launch team for this current one when it's released.

Aug 9, 3:03PM EDT0
If people read your book will it be easier or more difficult for them to understand the loss of someone close in their life? How do you think readers will connect with your book?
Aug 8, 7:42PM EDT0

Hello Adri, and thanks for your question. I think it will be easier for readers to connect. Three of the characters, suffer loss and all deal with it differently, so I think readers will connect with different characters as relates to what they suffer and how these characters deal with death.

Aug 9, 3:07PM EDT0
What books are currently on your TBR pile? Which book do you hope to get to soon?
Aug 8, 5:04PM EDT0

Hello Grace, thanks for your question. here is the link to my goodreads page of the books I have to be read. My  kindle is not working at present  and with this book release so close I am not sure when I will be reading again. Maybe later down in this year. 

Aug 9, 3:47PM EDT0
What will readers find relatable to their own lives in your story?
Aug 8, 1:10PM EDT0

Hello Dayamejias, thanks for your question. Readers I believe will relate most to how the characters deal with loss, the direction it takes them and how they cope.   

Aug 9, 3:30PM EDT0
Is making an emotional connection with your readers important to you? If so, how important?
Aug 8, 11:42AM EDT0

Hello Deanne, thanks for the question. I do believe it's important to make that emotional connection with readers if you are writing a story you want to be impactful in their lives. I write to uplift readers and to help encourage them to find the strength, to be victorious over their situations. This is why I try to incorporate everything that I know would help me through my own struggles into my characters so that they can help readers. 

Aug 9, 3:15PM EDT0
Do you still experience times when you have to unplug yourself from everyone around to restore old memories? How do you cope up with that situation?
Aug 8, 11:21AM EDT0

Hello Eadiatu, thanks for your question. I am not sure what old memories you are referring to. However, I do find at times I do need to escape those around me to get my focus and thoughts back on track. That I usually do by spending time having a conversation with God- best therapy. 

Aug 9, 3:27PM EDT0
How do you balance all of the hats you wear each day?
Aug 8, 6:33AM EDT0

Hello Mel and thanks for your question. One can only balance those hats, taking one at a time. 

Aug 9, 3:24PM EDT0
How have your reading tastes and habits changed since becoming a published writer?
Aug 8, 5:37AM EDT0

Hello Mar and thank you for your question. I don't think my reading taste will ever change. I will always love classic literature and some suspense. I haven't however gotten to do much reading n being publish with all the promotion and marketing I have to be doing.

Aug 9, 3:22PM EDT0
Do you have other books in the pipeline, if so what are some of the stories your readers can look forward to and how will these stories be different from your current book?
Aug 7, 6:52AM EDT0

Hello Bheem, thank you for your question. Yes, I have two other books waiting to be edited after this book is complete. All my books are faith-based, but each will deal with different issues. Her Treasured Love- deals with Alex and Gabriela, who find their feelings for each other growing beyond friendship, but Alex's situation makes it hard for them to act upon it. It also dealt with them trying to honour God in the midst of that.

While the other book- Life's journey our Greatest Test, deals with a young man whose life fell apart after the death of his brother- drug abuse, juvenile detention to being imprisoned and the journey he had to take to find his way back. The friends he met along the way and their struggles as well.  

Last edited @ Aug 7, 11:53PM EDT.
Aug 7, 3:09PM EDT0
What inspired you to write in the Christian romance genre?
Aug 7, 5:09AM EDT0

Hello Dennis, thank you for your question. The Holy-Spirit inspired me to write this genre. I guess it's the one I relate to the most. 

Aug 7, 2:52PM EDT0
In one of your posts you mentioned that God has a way of testing you through whatever He allows you to share with others. How has He personally tested you?
Aug 7, 12:08AM EDT0

Hello Jatinder, thank you for your question. I am not sure if you read the entire post in which you ask that question about, because right below that very statement in the post I went on to explain how I was personally tested and it was what I wrote in my book-Predestined Love, pertaining to the issue of waiting on God that helped me through that period.  God allowed me to write it then later when the test came that book was what strengthened me, through one of the characters.   I hope that explains. I wrote the experience in the post which is why I didn't expound too much here again but here is the link to reread in case you didn't read the entire post

Last edited @ Aug 7, 11:55PM EDT.
Aug 7, 1:29AM EDT0
How long has it taken you to write "A Shattered Life Restored" from the moment the idea came to you and how wrong were you with regards to when you would finish it?
Aug 6, 5:46PM EDT0

Hello Paola, thank you for your question. The original manuscript took like a few months, but with the rewrites, after I had a few beta readers suggestions added, it took an additional two months or so. I am not sure. I finished the book last year but had some things going on which prevent the release until now.  However, I think in total maybe seven months

Aug 6, 5:53PM EDT0
Which genres do you enjoy reading? What impact has the stories you have read had on your style of writing?
Aug 6, 5:08PM EDT0

Hello Claricel, thank you for your question.  I grew up loving classic literature, such as Les Miserables, Jane Eyre, and Sherlock Holmes. I think I write more in that style since they inflence me most.

Aug 6, 5:45PM EDT0
Do you think marketing your book before releasing it is a great marketing strategy? Why do you say so?
Aug 6, 4:17PM EDT0

Hello Yanine, thank you for your question. Marketing is tough either way and I am still learning as I go. However, I had read about someone who shared bits of his book before he released it and it was a huge success. I think it is a good strategy too, it creates a buzz about your book even if it is to expose your work to a new audience. 

Aug 6, 4:35PM EDT0
The first chapter is captivating, you are a great writer. Have you always known that you wanted to be a writer?
Aug 6, 12:15PM EDT1

Hello Lea, thank you for your question and for liking the first chapter of the book. You have made me smile today. When I was young I loved reading books mostly books written by people like Charles Dickens and I loved literature in High school. However, I never really saw myself as a writer, in fact, I grow up trying so many things, I got frustrated and always asking God what my purpose was. 

It wasn't until a couple years ago I went to Italy and wanted to write a romance about my time there and started Predestined Love when I got back home. That was when I knew the Lord was with me in my writing because he changed the direction of the story and added characters I didn't even think of. And I had such joy while writing. I had found my purpose. Lea, I would love to have you as part of the launch team for this book- I am hoping to release it the end of this month and seeing you liked the first chapter, I would love to share the journey with you. I believe you will appreciate the story very much. If you are interested just subscribe so I can send you an ARC copy when the time comes.

Last edited @ Aug 8, 12:01AM EDT.
Aug 6, 2:14PM EDT0
In your stories, how do you balance entertainment and giving hope to someone facing the same challenges as your characters?
Aug 6, 10:54AM EDT1

Hello Ella, thanks for your question. To be honest Ella, it's the Holy-Spirit that inspire my stories from start to finish. Every story that I have written- published and those soon to be, came from him.  It's always just an image at first and what I usually do, is sit in front of my computer and pray.

'Lord it's your story, I'm the vessel, guide me to write this book in the right order and how you want it.'

When I do this everything flows as it should. Sometimes I am amazed at what I write. God uses my experiences and personality and builds stories around them. Everything simply balances out without me having to think too much about what to write in this chapter or that one. I always try to remember it's about him and that way everything comes without what most writers call writer's block.  If God doesn't give me a story I simply don't write.

Last edited @ Aug 8, 12:04AM EDT.
Aug 6, 1:56PM EDT0
What are some of the things you do to relax when you feel your writing is not going as well as you would like it to?
Aug 6, 10:15AM EDT0

Hello Evoh, thank you for your question. For me, what I do to relax when I feel I can't write, is watch a movie, or go online and read stuff on healthy hair care. I have a love for using natural products in my hair and always looking for ways to use the natural herbs and plants in my yard. 

Aug 6, 1:43PM EDT0
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